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Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"
 
I like it! Lets remember to keep it clean :)

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.

He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.
 
There was guy named Benny. One day at the beach he found an urn and when he rubbed it a genie came out of the urn and granted him 3 wished but if he ever shaved again he would turn into a urn. After 20 years he had money and women but he was always tripping over his beard. So one day he shaved it and turned into an urn.

The moral of the story is a Benny shaved is a Benny urn
 
A preacher needed a bell ringer for his church so he ran an add. A few days latter a knock came on the church door. A man with no arms was at the door about the job. The preacher asked how will you ring the bell with no arms. The man said I am a professional bell ringer it been in my family for generations, The preacher says Ok I'll give you a try and they go up into the bell tower. The bell ringer looks at the bell takes 3 steps back and runs at the bell then jumps across the bell tower and half way across he Slams his face on the bell BONG! The Preacher says Oh that must of hurt the bell ringer assures him he is a professional bell ringer and say let me show you again. The preacher yells no and puts his hands out to stop the bell ringer but trips him and the bell ringer falls from the bell tower and is killed.

The police show up and ask the preacher if he knows the guy The preacher says no but his face rings a bell

Still not having a bell ringer another knock comes to the door a few days latter. He answers and it's a guy again with no arms. He tells the preacher he comes from a long line of bell ringers, the bell ringer killed was his brother and he came about the job. He gives the guy a try in the bell tower and same thing, the guy smashes his face on the bell followed by him tripping the bell ringer and the bell ringer falling to his death. The police come again and ask the preacher if he knew the dead man The preacher says No but he's a dead ringer for his brother
 

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